Thursday, January 10, 2008

Mr. Fanti's Reply to D.o.S.C. (Part 1)

I have a second part ready but I thought I would post Mr. Fanti's comment first, lack of caps and all.

"kaleb, i like where your mind's at and think you're on to something. however, i see several things stopping this idea from taking off, most importantly, you're lack of spelling. but that is a minor oversight.

the idea of being "good" or "naughty" has been a question fondled by man since the days of Plato, aristotle, and calvin and hobbes. before, we were to believe that if we lived a pure life, did good work, and served this so-called jesus character, we would be rewarded by entry into heaven after we passed. but who has that kind of patience to wait that long. plus, it's only a one-time payoff. i'd much rather have a better chance of winning the $5 scratch-off lottery ticket than picking six numbers and winning a couple of million. also, there is no proof that a heaven even exists. i know that there are a lot of indications that it could or probably does, such as $1 beer nights, rocky marathons on tnt, bubble wrap, large breasts, and the surf n' turf from mcdonalds (where you order a big mac, remove the middle piece of bread, and replace it w/ the patty of a fillet o' fish), but no concrete evidence.

the other problem w/ the current system is that there isn't any bonus for being good. the typical joe everyman lives their normal life, goes to work, cooks dinner for the kids, goes down on her husband on his birthday and obeys the speed limit. but that same person can develop cancer, get hit by a bus, or even worse, end up having all daughters for children. again, no payoff. on the other hand, you can have someone w/ a low sense of morals, that doesn't care about anyone but themselves, drinks too much, and has had more handcuffs on them than the gimp from "pulp fiction" and he ends up landing the big account for his company and drives a lexus. you know, my heroes.

so how do we resolve this? w/ your santa clause idea. i like the fact that there is constant judgment and servalence so everyone knows they are being watched. now i'm not a big fan of invasion of privacy, especially after all the underage asian porn i've downloaded, but do understand the possible benefits of this. if everyone was able to begin the year w/ a "clean slate," w/ the reward of receiving what they want at the end of the year, then it would provide a positive reinforcement on society. Crime would not only go down b/c people would stop behaving bad, but b/c they would receive what they asked for during christmas. and i don't think we should judge what people ask for, that's the key. if someone wants a new puppy, that's fine. if someone wants a bowling-ball sized crackrock, that's ok too, as long as they were good this year. you know why they should get that bowling ball sized crackrock? b/c when they were in the back alley whoring themselves out for $10 a pop and that homeless guy shortchanged them, they didn't get mad and shank him, they understood and said, "next time." b/c they were "nice."

couple of minor issues. those that do get rewarded should have their present come out of their tax return money. only instead of receiving it in june or july, they'll get it on 12/25. i am concerned w/ the crime aspects though. you have to understand that there is going to be quite an angry mob of those "bubble people" who end up getting coal. i believe we would have to prepare for yearly christmas day riots that would make the rodney king ones look like the freakin rose bowl parade. i do like the idea of the prison elves, but not working retail on the holidays. i had to do that in high school and believe that caused me to loose my soul and started my path to damnation. aside from that, sounds pretty fullproof. i'll get don rumsfeld on the phone to troubleshoot the minor points, but we should have it up-and-running by this year. just let me kick one more kitten before it begins."

I will add the new blog with responses to this tommrow

K Tuttle

1 comment:

Blagermeister said...

"having all daughters as children"

That stuff is funny. I want more.