Billions of years ago from the void of space a group of particles got together and said "Hey Let's form a planet." And it was good. Once formed it looked around at it's neighbors and said. "I want to be different. Jupiter has its Big Red Spot, Saturn has its rings, Mercury is so close to the Sun. How can I be different?" She saw no other planet had life. "I can be the first on the block with this baby. Damn the consequences, I want Life."
So Here I sit, 5 billion years later, the pinnacle of that decision. Yes I, Kaylon Tuttle, am the highest form of life on the earth. How can I claim I'm better than any one else? Well the same way Michael Moore does, by ignoring facts and using propagandic speech. As long as my balls are big enough and my ire strong enough you shouldn't even notice all the logical fallacies and obvious agenda.
So here we go.
Earth didn't realize when it casually chose life is that life has a couple goals of its own it to sustain itself, and to reproduce. There are factors outside of a life forms control, weather, food supply, how promiscuous a mate is, that link to its survival and reproduction. Mankind has done an unbelievable job controlling these factors and adapting the environment to their current needs. Well, maybe not the mate thing. Nonetheless, mankind is and incredible sustain and reproduce machine. A machine that has fundamentally changes the face of the Earth. How did this machine come about?
Early in mankind’s development he/we/they/I (when referring to one's own species, what is the correct pronoun?) decided that to sustain and reproduce them/my/ourselves best they should organize, proving bureaucracy in ingrained deeply in our DNA. Now organisms and organization have one primary concern of sustenance not caring about the long term instead focusing on immediate needs. The bureaucracy of man grows and spreads and starts taking up resources, little by little.
The earth hardly notices. Its having so much fun playing god, Gia is. Besides they aren't nearly as big as the dinosaurs. Man continues to maintain its organization and Earth does very little to halt progress. Earthquakes, nope. Volcano, few. Floods, not enough to control the onslaught. Mankind grows and grows. In a body when a cell reproduces at an accelerated rate it causes a tumor. We call it cancer.
That is what mankind is, cancer. Now Earth has cancer.
You know what I say. Good. You deserve it. The other planets were happy with mountains and rings, not you. You were the glowing show off of the solar system. "I have life," you said. You're like the aging starlet with a trach box dying of lung cancer because she thought smoking was cool. No one feels sorry for her because she was such a self-centered bitch. We'll Mother Earth you are a dying bitch. The other planets laugh, I say good riddance.To the other planets, this is the pinnacle of Earth speaking, Yeah, Kaylon Tuttle, you know who I am. We know how to get to space. We'll heading your direction any day now, raping and giving you cancer. "What did we ever do to you" "You never sent an asteroid to kill us. That's what. Prepare for the second hand smoke cancer that is Man is Space."
Oh yeah mans future... Space cancer.