Shake, shake it baby

The handshake is one of the most universal greetings, extending beyond the borders of ethnicity, religion and even gender. Little is known about the origin of the handshake, although Sir Walter Raleigh claims to have introduced this widely popular greeting. Since most people overlook the simple things in life, let’s take a moment to explore the handshake.

Although the handshake might seem like a very natural and simple greeting, there are many things that can go wrong and eventually lead to embarrassment. The first is the approach. Perhaps you are in a field where the handshake isn’t very common. Like a field of lepers. Or maybe you are a germophobe, which is acceptable in a field of lepers. Or simply you are not American. If any of the above are true, you might not be expecting a handshake as a greeting and therefore will not be focused on the approach. The approach is the most important part of the successful completion of a handshake. Jumping the gun or not being prepared can ruin a handshake before it ever really begins. Always be on your toes and when the shake is inevitable, make sure that you keep the hand in your periphery in order to initiate a well executed handshake.

If you fumble from the get go, you probably don’t know what you are doing and will fall into one of these categories of bad shakers :

The Pre-Mature Clincher
This is the shaker caught unawares. For whatever reason, the handshake was not expected or over anticipated leading to an awkward clutching of the other’s fingers. If you find yourself in this situation constantly, remember to lead with the area between thumb and forefinger and close the hand once contact with the recipient’s thumb/forefinger area has been made.

The Jock Shake
Not as exciting as it sounds, this is the handshake you encounter when meeting the over muscled athlete. These individuals attempt to make up for their lack in other areas by trying to squeeze your hand into admission of their superiority. This can be avoided by executing the counter to the Jock shake. . .

The Pointer
Thus named because of the pointing of the forefinger towards the shaker. When done properly, this maneuver eases the stress of an over zealous shaker’s grip. To some, this is an untrustworthy shake and defeats the purpose of a handshake.

The Linger
This is a handshake commonly found among senior citizens and pastors. It involves prolonged contact far beyond the acceptable limits of a handshake. A good handshake should last between three and five shakes. Once the shaking is done, contact should also be terminated.

The Dishrag
Maybe the most abhorred of handshake mistakes, the dishrag is the opposite of the Jock shake. This is akin to shaking hands with a dishrag or a dead fish created by a lack of firmness in ones grip. It is a common misconception that this is the secret handshake for a society known as homosexuals. This is untrue. This is really a secret handshake for wimps.