Muzak

At no time in my life has the desire to kill been greater than when listening to hold music or elevator music. It terrible stuff. It is proof of man's hatred of self. How else can you explain Muzak? Hatred of man is the only answer. I have proof.

Muzak is not the name for generic music, but rather the company that produces and sells this abomination. The United States was formed on free market principles, so someone selling crap is not surprising. . Where this music came from is - South Carolina, the heart of the confederacy. The first state to leave the Union. The place the Conspiracy was hatched.

The fact that that state would produce Muzak is no surprise. They left against the Union wanting to maintain their easy-going southern lifestyle. Well, that and they wanted slaves, but who doesn't want to own someone? I want a midget. I'd dress him like a kangaroo and keep him in a pouch on my belly.

Where was I? Oh Yeah. The South lost, and the good people of South Carolina set about creating their misanthropic revenge. It was Muzak; created in 1934 the insidious people of the Palmetto State found their outlet to make the rest of the Union feel their hate.

They would break mankind with soft music. They would brainwash us into mindless consumption until the economic collapse was so great the south would rise again. It has taken 73 years to weaken the minds of the masses but it is starting to take effect. It takes time to brainwash people. Now you ask: "How does crappy annoying elevator music brainwash you?" Good question.

The music lulls you into passivity. Look at the instruction of use for Christ's sake.

"It also began recommending that the music be provided at low, almost subliminal, volume levels, and discovered that alternating blocks of music with periods of silence increased the effectiveness of the product."

How do you beat that? It is designed to make you a sheep led to the slaughter of a boring, consumeristic life. The soft Muzak lulls one into submission and forces us to buy, well beyond reason.

The baby boomers are just now to the point that they can really ruin the economy good. They are retiring now and they seem incapable of reducing their consumption. Why is that?

The Baby boomers were trained to obey the music. Muzak came into it's own as malls went up across America. The Boomers were pushed through the mall where the subliminal message of buy, buy, buy became their credo.

The South's had its Revenge. We have economic peril at the hands of terrible music.

Damn you South Carolina and Damn you Muzak.

K Tuttle.