Will you...

One of my dear good friends recently became engaged. After 7 odd years of togetherness, he managed to make it a surprise. He asked her on Valentines Day, a choice so cliché that no one in a functioning relationship could ever see that coming. Good job Timothy.

That was the first example of me burning a bridge for the blog, Good Job, Kaylon

Now I am an idiot. There is ample proof of this on the pages of A.B.S. Given the choice between two things, one which is clearly the right answer and one which is funny, I pick funny every time. Knowing this I will invariably screw up a marriage proposal. So I have made plans for my proposal to reduce the pain.

This does not indicate a timeline, mother.

Option 1
I tape the ring to the remote control. I then place the remote just out of my reach. My ladyfriend walks in, she sees I can’t reach the remote and that I’m too lazy to get up. With puppy dog eyes and I ask, "Can you pass me the remote?" She looks at me with disdain, grabs the remote and feels the ring. She looks at the ring with wonder and I say, " Let’s get MARRIED." Classy.

Option 2
I cook Ramen noodles and put a can of tuna in the Ramen. That is gross, but when these two dry they become concrete hard. Which is why I take a few noodles and a little tuna and place it in a bowl with the ring and put the bowl under my bed for a week. After a week, the ring is super glued to the bowl. I place the bowl at the bottom of a big pile of dishes. I watch her wash the dishes, patiently waiting until she gets to the magic bowl. I then pop out and yell, "Let’s get Married!" If all goes well, she drops the bowl, shattering it, making the ring easier to remove.

So those are the options I have come up with so far. I do have a lucky lady. I know she is waiting for one of these proposals any decade now.

K Tuttle