Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I Heart Boobies: How Breast Cancer Saved the Breast

Disclaimer: This is in no way intended to make light of a serious illness.

Foreword: I am not sexist. Just stupid.

Chapter One (Final Chapter)

Breast cancer is a form of cancer that occurs in the tissue of the breast. In some cases this cancer can result in the removal of lymph nodes, breast tissue and chest muscle. So you might be asking, how can something that results in the removal of the breast save the breast? Well...
Breast men: an underground group of admirers of the subjected anatomy. Some people may be unfamiliar with the concept of men focusing on nothing but a woman's breast, but it happens. Honest. I myself am an ass man, and nothing good ever came out of that, but that is another topic. Let's digest this first, shall we? Let's move back north to those prosperous peaks of pleasure. Although you may be unfamiliar with this secret society of funbag fandangos, their obsession permeates and even shapes our everyday life. So what does that have to do with breast cancer? Well, from before puberty, females are privy to their objectification through their breasts. And this part of anatomy ceases to belong to them but instead belongs to men that drool over them, women that envy them, boyfriends and girlfriends that fondle them and maybe play fun little games with them while you are sleeping...and give them names...and maybe sometimes even have deeper conversations with them than with you.

Then a miracle happens...a woman gives birth. And now her breasts become a tool on the level of a sippy cup. The incessant demands of her offspring further alienate her from her own body as they become the natural and healthy means of providing sustenance.

So what does any of that have to do with breast cancer? Well, breast cancer allowed women to reclaim their breasts as their own. Breast cancer has given women's breasts an identity outside of some sexist symbol or a feeding facilitator. Breast cancer has given the breast back to the woman. Breast cancer awareness and self screening exam movements have helped to put women's breasts back into their own hands. Although breast cancer can be a terrible killer (and is thesecond most deadliest form of cancer that does occur in both women and men) perhaps even such a tragic sickness can still yield something positive?

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