Monday, May 12, 2008

Unexplained occurrence #158

Can anyone explain to me the yellow urine stains that frequent the floors beneath men's urinals? Of course this is a question directed at men or really strange women. It doesn't take S.E.A.L team sniper training to make the shot, even if you are using the ones for wee men or children. Is there some secret society of men out there that do trick shots, banking their stream off of walls or out of sinks into the toilet, nothing but net style? Or is there something so engrossingly interesting that the user's attention is diverted enough that he can't make the two or three foot shot (depending on how blessed one may be).

I can understand the need to find the right angle to prevent splash back. And perhaps some people in lieu of researching to find the angle opt for distance. But is splash back so much of a problem, unless you have been eating asparagus, that you completly miss the urinal? Even if you find urinating so pleasurable that you feel the need to close your eyes and be whisked away on some magical journey, the shot is still an easy one to make. Or maybe there is a genetic flaw in men that deems that men must always miss their pissing aim? Maybe it is an act of defiance or male bravado "Ha, you sissy women sit down to pee and I spray everywhere. I am man!"

E.Garrett McMillan

4 comments:

Unknown said...

You use the sniper analogy, I feel that is inaccurate. The man parts acruracy is more akin to a shotgun. You have a vauge idea where the urine is going but is dependent many variables, have you had sex? It this the first piss of day. All these things make a differance.

E.G.McMillan said...

You say shotgun, I say sniper rifle. I guess it just depends on the length of your barrel.

Unknown said...

When a hose becomes unkinked, it sprays everywhere, there is no control. How is that not like a shotgun blast?

dicktrickel said...

If I may shed some light on the situation...there's always bound to be a little "dribble" at the end of a good wizz. allow me to take k tut's analogy of the hose. you can even try this one at home kids. take a hose in your hand and turn it on, aiming it into a trash can or whatever object you want to use as the experimental "urinal" (and yes you can hold the hose between your legs for the posterity of the experiment). now after you have had your fun, try to turn off the hose as quickly as possible without allowing a drop to seep out after the flow has been stopped. I dare you to find a hose that does not dribble, on or off of a man!!

Also, I have to say that its difficult (notice i didn't say hard) to miss the floor when you hang all the way down to it