Douchebag, Ass, Jabroni, Jerk - all terms to indicate that an individual, while seeming to be cool is in fact not. There are a lot of these people. I like to call them readers. These terms are so fun to banty about they end up being used far too frequently, losing their original insulting meaning.
Ass might be the best example. If you call me an Ass, I feel complimented. Conan O’Brien refers to himself as an Ass and he is AWESOME. That makes me want to be an Ass as well. My lady friend tells me constantly that I have succeeded.
Douchebag seems to be the term with the most cultural currency at the moment. Everyone is a Douchebag. The problem is one of degrees. Some people are bigger douches than others are and it is an insult to the little douche to compare to a huge douche. We don’t want to water down a term unnecessarily.
How do you think Carson Daly feels being compared to Ryan Seacrest? Not good I tell you.
So here is my solution. We should refer to Little Douches as Carson Dalys and Big Douches as Ryan Seacrests. The really little ones as Ryan Dalys and the huge total Douchy McDouchersons as Carson Seacrests.
So now we have come up with terms to clear up the Douchebag confusion, who should Douchebag be used on?
Mets fans. God Damn Mets fans.
K Tuttle.
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