The Stanford Conection

Did you know Stanford is awesome?

It is. They told us every week on "The O.C." Now they are telling us every week on "Chuck." Well, now that the writers strike has ended the bombardment of pro Stanford propaganda can begin afresh.

What is so great about Stanford?

Why is the school the center of all this Hollywood attention?

Why did they have the greatest amount of money donated to a school go to them last year, with over 900 million dollars donated?

I will tell you. They are taking over the world. I have discovered the plan. All the evidence is there. You just have to know how to spot the conspiracy. That would take a great amount of detective work. Since I am like Batman without the money, it was easy task for me. Kids don’t try this kind of connective logic without adult supervision, your head will explode.

OK, lets get into the Stanford Connections.

Google, the Internet search engine and data mine, was created at Stanford. This seems innocuous at first until you realize that the original form is still on the Stanford home page. The founders Sergey Brin and Larry Page are still students at Stanford. They are both "on leave" from the Ph.D. program, but students none the less Yahoo creator Jerry Yong is also a Stanford guy. Youtube co-creator Jawed Karim is a student there currently.

"So what, A few Internet geeks came from the same school. Big whoop" you say.

First of all you should be condemned for saying whoop. Shame on you. Did you put on some parachute pants while drinking Bartles and James to say that? That was a good one. SIKE. Oh man, I bet you feel so stupid for that "whoop" statement now.

Secondly, you are not bright enough to see the connection yet, so I shall once again illuminate you. Someone who is megalomaniac clearly has a lot of ego. They think they can run the world. That takes balls. To conquer one needs technological innovation, military strength, and financial might. With Google and Yahoo they have 2 of the 3. In Condie Rice you have the third. Mitt Romney and Hilary Clinton, both with strong ties to Stanford, are making runs at the White House. Mitt Romney going for the back door, hoping for the GOP vice president nod. Hillary going for the whole thing. (Another reason to support Godzilla "08)

Why do you think the Democratic primary is so close? Obama is a Harvard man, the school that has run things along with Yale for years. Now Stanford and Cal Berkley are trying to move the locus of control out to California.

But all of this is kind of circumstantial. The real evidence comes from the show "Chuck"

In the show, Chuck gets an email from a fellow Stanford student with information from a government computer that mines real world information and then connects them in a way that determines who is a threat and what they are going to do. How is that not Google and Yahoo collectively? Stanford is bragging about their plan for global domination on national TV.

If you are wondering how Google, Yahoo and Youtube, not to mention, Capital One, Charles Shwab and Nike, lead to global domination you are retarded.

Stanford is like a Serial Killer leaving clues.

Unfortunately none of us will be killed. We’ll be advertised Nike by Google and Yahoo, go into debt buying them with Capital One and head to Charles Swab for our get out of debt plan while Stanford becomes more powerful.

At least they suck at football.

K Tuttle.